Have you ever felt like you were spinning your wheels in a never ending rat race??
No matter how much money you would attain that cup always seemed empty and Never satisfying.
Well, we have.
We worked hard to make our dreams come to fruition. Always leading the reins instead of allowing God to lead.
Yet, through it all, His Grace and Love surrounded us.
The Search for the Creator not only become necessary, but we really had no say in the matter!!! Like a horse’s Bridle pulling us in the direction He wanted us to go, we had no choice but to listen and follow.
We were immersed in the world. Enjoying all the pleasures it had to offer us.
From craft breweries to fancy brunches, luxury living, and a hearty foodie appetite. We traveled any time we had off from work. We’ve flown first class, last class, and red-eye. We often said we weren’t spoiled and were great at saving. But what we couldn’t see is how our heart was becoming spoiled.
Our heart was for our kids. We wanted to give them the world and Love on them as much as possible.
But were we really???
About 7 years ago, God laid upon our hearts the need to Homeschool our kids. They were 2 and 16 months old – not even school age!! But the call was there.
I never thought I would homeschool. But my heart tugged on the need to keep them safe and Train up my children in the way that they should go.
God kept gently reminding us that This was His plan for us. I didn’t see the bigger picture, and I’m not sure I even still have the full view!!!
Maybe once school was great! And maybe even there are places where it is still great, but as we looked into it, It wasn’t for us. And Homeschooling was a clear call from God. Fast forward to today. Homeschooling has been an amazing roller coaster. Filled with tears, laughter, more hugs than I can count, silly games, awesome science experiments, and an adventure I couldn’t imagine missing out on.
So here we are living the City life. We thought we had it balanced. Daddy had a job that offered him plenty of time off. So hikes and bike rides were always on the list of things to do.
And yet, it still seemed empty.
And yet, we still longed for more.
I thought that we had all we could want and desire.
What was missing? Why wasn’t it satisfying??
In the midst of all of this, we were struggling with our faith.
Let’s take a back story moment.
Hubby grew up in a Pentecostal Assemblies of God church. His Dad was the Worship Pastor, so he was a typical Pastors Kid (PK).
I grew up in a house that professed to be Catholic, yet our true beliefs were driven By our Ancestors, which was an Amazonian Native Indian Tribe. My Great Grandfather was the Witch Doctor of the tribe. The teachings of his craft were handed down generationally. I was to be the next successor in line.
One of the most important things to my husband before we could get married is that I at least attend church. He knew that God would change my heart, no need to push me to convert. And he was right! It didn’t take long, my heart jumped for THE KING and longed to LOVE and Know him. It was a pretty easy transition as I grew up under the false mask of Catholicism. I knew Jesus was who He was. And the Supernatural was as real to me as this earthly plain is. So, when Jesus came to meet me, when He sought me out, and Knew me by name, by my secrets and heartaches and met me with Love and a wide open heart, I could do nothing more then to surrender my soul to HIM. That was back in 2003.
Since then it has been a battle, which is not surprising when you come into the kingdom of GOD.
GOD Loves you so Passionately and Lucifer hates you so Passionately. Remember that!
Lucifer is so jealous of the close relationship we can have with the King and the Father. He wants to destroy it. What better way for him to do that but to distract you from worshipping, praising, and proclaiming His Holy name.
He doesn’t have to work hard at it either. His infiltration in the Western world has become blinding. Media, Selfies, SELF SATISFIYING ME, ME, ME. More Stuff, More money, work and grind hard, and then party harder. All of this allows our flesh to take the lead of our Soul and puts the Creator on the back burner.
I am so grateful for His Consistency. For His endless love letters and for never giving up on us.
Meeting The love of my Life was no accident. It was written in the stars long ago. God ordained for His glory. It has been a constant pull to God for both of us.
As My husband pulled away from his upbringing and Church. I could do nothing but surrender to the KING.
As a new Christian, I thought I had to fill this CHECK BOX.
Check I only listen to Worship music
Check I am an Obedient Wife
Check I go to Church
Check I pray for others
Check I JUDGE AND SCOFF AND GOSSIP. (hehe just kidding but that seems to be the standard for churchy people!)
I was missing the boat and frustrating my marriage. If God calls us to be Respectful and Loving, why was I constantly demanding my husband to PUNCH A CLOCK and Fill out a CHECK BOX?
I learned quickly that all my Creator wanted, was for me to just be WITH HIM.
I didn’t need a church to do that.
Really, Christian church had become another Catholic church. Where you can only meet God there.
So I gave in and I stopped churchy things and decided to spend TIME WITH GOD ALONE.
This was the most important thing I could have done in my life!
I created a prayer closet after watching WAR ROOM, great movie.
I just started journaling my prayers, my hopes, my hearts desires. I cried and called out to MY FATHER as often as my heart and soul needed it. I began diving into scripture and writing the PROMISES GOD had for my life. I pinned them all up in the Closet so I could be constantly reminded of them every time I walked in.
I started this process in 2015 – that year we decided to take a road trip for our 10 year anniversary. We went to Virginia, South Carolina, Florida, and Georgia (all through time share). While in Florida, we got BAPTIZED in our Aunt and Uncle’s Pool by their YOUTH PASTOR, who is so on fire for GOD. He was refreshing and like-minded and KNEW our heart longed for this connection with the KING.
After that, things only got more intense. Hubby started having dreams, and not the good kind. THINK RAPTURE! Waking up sweating, having to check out the window if chaos had broken through, and being grateful it was just a dream. This was reoccurring and progressively scarier.
God was calling his heart hard!! So I just kept praying, thinking that the outcome would be us going back to church! hehe. How wrong was I about what the KING wants from us.
Suddenly, we found ourselves longing to serve and go on missions. Thailand anyone??? We were ready to leave it all behind and go cross country and dive into the worst of it for His glory. But God had other plans.
Nanny (hubby’s grandma) got very sick and landed in the hospital. So since we had nothing better to do, we went to visit her.
When we arrived, Hubby’s Uncle Paul was there. And that was no COINCIDENCE.
God makes ALL THINGS WORK FOR HIS GLORY, and had orchestrated this amazing adventure right before our eyes.
So after listening to everything that was transpiring in our lives, Uncle Paul offered us a 45-foot Vanhool Converted tour BUS.
We have always loved traveling and now, the idea of ROAD SCHOOLING WAS EXCITING.
We didn’t want to lose focus though. We are mission minded and continued to seek GOD for answers. We started attending Bible studies and The Gathering at our Uncle’s Place AND never left.
We still want to get on the road, but like I said so much work is still needed!!
2 thoughts on “A Heart Change”
Love the idea. Some crazy and exciting but one should follow the dreams be safe at there have lost fan doing especially because you have your family with you. All tell best lost of blessing. Com muito carinho e amor. Mom
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Thanks mom, glad you can follow along, so were never too far.